Now is the time to get out your calendar and start planning the things that you love to do in the summer.

Tips to make this your best summer:

1. Get clear about what you want-What are your intentions for the summer. Do you need a summer with lots of relaxation–lying in a hammock reading a favorite book? Do you need a summer with adventure–traveling to places you have always wanted to travel to? Do you need a summer filled with fun times with the people you love? Are you drawn to more solitude or connection with others? You might want a mix of all of the above. Get clear about what you would really love for your summer. The more you set your intention and then plan right now–the more you will fulfill your dreams for your best summer yet.
2. Take 100% responsibility for your happiness this summer. It is your job to create the summer you would like—it is in no one else’s hands. Do not make your good times reliant on someone else. If you want to travel and your partner does not want to–find someone else to go with–or go on your own. Let go of the false belief that you are selfish if you focus on your own happiness and take action to create it. You are actually being self-responsible when you do this. It is our job to create as much happiness for ourselves as possible. You have the capability of transforming those around you by your own happiness.
3. Put it on your schedule NOW- Get your calendar out and plan these fun events now. Connect with your friends and/or family and make a plan. And again if you can’t find someone to join you on your adventure–plan it on your own.
4. Don’t back down–Take a stand for your fun. Don’t let pressure from others make you back down from what you really want to do. Stay firm on your intentions for your summer and let go of others reactions-their reactions have more to do with them then you. You will be amazed at how great you will feel when you follow through with your plan.
5. Connect with the little kid inside of you–If you have a hard time thinking of things that you would love to do tune into the little kid inside of you. This part of you has a ton of ideas for fun things to do. Thing like: riding your bike, going out for ice cream, riding on a Ferris wheel, going water-skiing, sleeping outside on a warm summer night.

Ideas of Fun things to DO

•  Take a day trip to a state park and walk/bike in the woods
• Attend a summer festival
• Go to the beach
• Go camping
• Take a road trip with no destination
• Go to see music outdoors
• Go to a drive in movie–yes they still have them:)
• Go to a water park or amusement park (they are for big kids too:)
• Go dancing

Shelley Riutta MSE, LPC is a pioneer in the Holistic Psychotherapy field. She specializes in Transformational individual counseling, Presentations and Workshops. For her free Workbook “What Do You REALLY Want: Finding Purpose and Passion” and free monthly tele-classes visit her web-site at http://www.radiantlifecounseling.com/

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We all know people who have the “poor me” attitude. They always have a story of how someone wronged them or how nothing goes right for them or how they are always kept from doing what they really want to do. The “poor me” attitude is the victim mindset, which we know attracts attackers of all kinds, which, in turn perpetuates the attitude; a negative, vicious cycle.

As women, we give our power away far too often and being in the mindset of blaming everyone else for your life experiences means you have decided to let others run your life. For a “poor me” person, the attention they get by being tragic is reward enough to keep up the act. Pity is negative attention. Most people who fall for the “poor me” people are those who feel sympathy instead of empathy and get right in the muddy, tragic waters with them perpetuating the problem. Now instead of a drama queen, you have a drama play with all of the characters secure in their roles of despair.

The danger is negative attitudes weaken body language. This sets the “poor me” person, and anyone else who joined in the play, up for attack by people looking for a prospective victim. The body language change may be so subtle we wouldn’t notice but those who attack, it is as clear as a bell.

If you are a woman who likes being the captain of your own ship and determining your life’s course, chances are you have little time for “poor me” people. You see it as weakness and offer suggestions as to how they might adjust their circumstances. You offer encouragement until you realize that in their mind, if they take control of their life, they won’t have anyone else to blame and that is terrifying to them. I mean, what would they have to complain about then? And who would they complain to?

“Poor me” people may be helped, if they are up for it, but most would rather blame and complain, which makes them a toxic relationship and detrimental to people aiming to be healthy and happy.

Disclaimer: We all have “poor me” days occasionally but to live in this mindset by choice (and those who do deny they have choice) is a self-esteem issue of feeling unworthy of great things while still needing attention. It is a self fulfilling prophecy.

Rather than get dragged down with a “poor me” person to be unsafe yourself, talk about what they can do to rectify the situation. I can almost guarantee one of two things will happen. They will adjust to follow your excellent advice or they will not come to you with their sad stories anymore because they know you will not feed their “attention fix.”

Bonus Safety Secret: When a “poor me” person is a relative, the ramifications can be devastating to family members unless they protect themselves mentally and emotionally. And I invite you to be even safer by visiting http://www.PersonalSafetyTrainer.com

You will get a FREE Safety Quick Tip and 3 FREE bonuses to help you to be safer. There are audios and documents waiting there for you right now!

From Kelly Rudolph – “Your Personal Safety Trainer”

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